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Takai no Tenshi

[ Come | to Your Death ]
[ They | Die so Young ]

Happy Birthday to Travis [Jul. 14th, 2010|07:12 am]
Takai no Tenshi
To Travis:

I'm sorry. I know this is technically late, but I didn't want to post this until you'd be able to read it... It's small, kind of lame, and you'll get your "big gift" next week. I hope it's okay though.

Happy belated birthday!


Happy birthday, wolfie!Collapse )
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Hospital- Take Two [Sep. 7th, 2008|10:00 pm]
Takai no Tenshi
[Today, I'm Feeling |busybusy]
[Eulogy of the Day |"You're Gonna Go Far Kid"]

Just when you think you're fine...

Yeah, so...I ended up missing Dragon*Con after all.

Yeah. You read correctly.

Words cannot describe how depressed and pissed I am still about this.

I wound up in the hospital all Labor Day weekend long with a kidney infection and kidney stone. Though now I feel physically fine, the doctor says I still have a small infection (and apparently the stone hasn't pass yet either). He gave me an antibiotic to take. He said it should clear up everything, and I'm meeting him this Friday to see if there's any change. I really hope it does clear it, because I really don't want to have surgery again...especially just to get out a kidney stone. >_>

Anyway, I've got a lot of work this week... Two mini-essays (called micro-themes) due tomorrow at 11:00 p.m. for Western Theatre History; a paper about Hamlet for WTH too; Worksheet 1 (which is basically a term paper on the play How I Learned to Drive) due tomorrow at 1:00 for Play Analysis; a quiz about said play in PA too; a five-paged scene related to September 11th due Tuesday for Dramatic Writing; and a test in Biology early Tuesday morning at 8:00.

Thankfully, it's all in two days. It'll be a pain, but I can get it done. Hopefully my other DA book comes in tomorrow too. Gah, I hate that bookstore, I swear.

So, I'm putting all my hopes for a break in AWA in two weeks. Still have to get my costumes ready for it too. I swear, if I have to miss AWA too, there will be hell to pay. Don't know who'll have to pay for it, but somebody will (to all my friends out there, no that does not mean you).

Hope everyone is more relaxed/better.
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First Day Back [Aug. 18th, 2008|08:15 pm]
Takai no Tenshi
[Today, I'm Feeling |annoyedannoyed]
[Eulogy of the Day |[watching Charmed]]

Meh, I have blogs to read and catch up on...

I promise I'll get to them this week.

My first day back at GSU went pretty well...except for the fact that I didn't apparently need to be on campus today...

On Mondays, I only have one class (Thea3100- Play Analysis). However, the professor never showed up.

Only six classmates (including myself) showed up, and we waited for almost 30 mintues, before we decided to leave. Though we did leave a note for Dr. Austin to let her know we were there (signed it and everything). Hopefully we'll actually have class on Wednesday. >.>

Lol, I wish I would have that luck tomorrow with Bio. Oh well. Such as life.

Gotta go--haven't had dinner yet, and I'm getting hungry.

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So Much Ado About Shura (Romance-wise) [Aug. 16th, 2008|04:14 am]
Takai no Tenshi
[Today, I'm Feeling |contemplativecontemplative]
[Eulogy of the Day |"Always Be My Baby"]

And I think this is the update everyone's been wanting to read since my post on the 14th, lol...

Here's the last one.

Well, Jacob and I have had a quite a few enlightening talks this past week...

He still loves me, and as I'm sure every last soul in the U.S. (and parts of Canada now thanks to RPing on Facebook lol) knows I am still in love with him.

We're not back together though, no. At least well...okay, to put it simply, it's complicated.

There's not another way to describe it. We both love each other, we don't want the other person to date, are not seeing anyone, flirt with each other, go out of our way some times to talk or cyberly hang out with each other. Thus, our talk the other night.

I wanted to know how far his love for me went and what he wanted...and he actually answered pretty much the way I was hoping he would.

Remember when I said I knew where I was moving?... Well, I have decided that after next Labor Day, I will be moving to Tulsa.

Despite what probably a lot of you are thinking right now, it wasn't solely based on Jacob. I'd be stupid and lying if I said he wasn't a factor, because he is, but there were many other things I took into account first before even mentioning this to anyone...

Oklahoma University (OU) has a very good law program, and they are a cheaper school. In fact, I might be able to attend part-time at OU without having to get a scholarship. But, even more, OU is well-known for helping out its students financially (which is a big added bonus). Also, the apartments in Tulsa are actually liveable. I could actually get a one-bedroom apartment and realistically afford it.

But back to the "romacne" part of this update. Jacob and I have decided to give it another try once I move over there. However, as of right now, no, we are not officially together, and though this may surprise some people, I'm actually fine with that.

As I stated earlier, I need to learn how to love myself. I can't be happy in a relationship if I can't be happy with myself first. This needs to be fixed before I step into a relationship again. So, I need time to figure out everything I have to do to get to that point, as well as plan out my other goals.

I know to a lot of people, this is probably strange, and I'm sure I'll probably catch hell for this, but I'm happy with this. This is enough for me...for now.

Yes, I know Jacob has hurt me a lot in the past, and yes, we have broken up a few times (three to be exact). I know most are not going to understand this, and I accept that. I just pray that they will resepct my decision, even if they don't agree with it.

Maybe I can't explain it to others, but I was able to explain it to Jacob, and he seems happy with it as well. I know others are going to think I'm crazy for doing this, but...I truly love him.

Yes, I've said it. I'm in love with Jacob Daniel Gregorovic--I have for six years. For the first three years, I've tried to ignore what I felt for him or forget about him, and you know what? It's never happened. Every time I thought we were through or he was out of my life, God always brought us back together. Even when I was with other men, I couldn't stop thinking about him, I couldn't help but wonder how he was and miss him.

I know he is my soul mate, and yes, while I may be nervous a little about this move still (since it is a big risk and change), I also know that if I don't do this, I'll regret it for the rest of my life.

So, to everyone reading this, yes, I am happy with the way things are for right now. Do I want them to change? In the future, when I'm ready, yes, I do, and I really do believe that they will change. I know everyone's not going to be happy with this, but I do ask still for my friends and loved ones to give me your blessing please. This is what I want, and I am happy, so please try and be happy for me as well.

Thank you.
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So Much Ado About Shura (Philosophy-wise) [Aug. 16th, 2008|04:13 am]
Takai no Tenshi
[Today, I'm Feeling |awakeawake]
[Eulogy of the Day |"Sky-Blue Eyes"]

Gosh, I don't think I've updated a blog so much like this in years...

I promise I'm almost done with all the updates, I swear. This is the second-to-last one.

Bleh, how can I be this alert so late?... No matter.

Anyway, being in the hospital also gave me a new outlook on life in general.

I've noticed that in general, I have become a much more cheerful person after surgery. I learned in there that life is really short, and I want to try and enjoy it.

I'm trying to catch up with old friends, and I'm trying to make new ones. It's been really refreshing.

Not to say that I don't get sad or disappointed still, because I do, but I try to look at the positive more often, and I've noticed that I have become more laid back.

As for my issues with Clyde, I'm learning to let go. Clyde and I are never going to have the dream 1950's father and daughter relationship, and while it still hurts, I'm going to deal with that. I'm not going to go out of my way to cut him out of my life, because he's always going to be a part of it, but at the same time, I'm not going to dwell on it either.

In addition, as for Mark, yes the bastard hurt me. It still hurts. I'm going to continue to seek counseling about it on campus, but I'm also going to see if I can see my pastor's wife in addition (she is a Christian counselor who specializes in sexual issues). I'm slowly (I think) letting go of the issues I do have with sex, and I'm taking steps to try and not let him have such a hold on my life.

And finally, I'm trying to stop planning every little thing and overanalyzing things too. I'm trying to just take things as they come, trying to be realistic yet not cynical about my expectations in life and with people.

Thus far, it's working out great for me. Yes, again, I still have my down moments, but I think as long as there's some positive ones too that it's a step in the right direction, and that is what counts.
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So Much Ado About Shura (Dream-wise) [Aug. 16th, 2008|03:56 am]
Takai no Tenshi
[Today, I'm Feeling |blankblank]
[Eulogy of the Day |"Lacrymosa"]

Being at the hospital, afraid that I might actually die made me think a lot.

I realized I don't love myself. In fact, I hardly even like myself...at all. I really need to change this. Accomplishing the other things won't matter if I don't love myself. In fact, this made me realize that this was one of the things that went wrong with Jacob and me--my self-loathing added much more stress and strain into our relationship.

And I'm not changing myself for him--I'm doing it for me.

First off, I do want to lose some weight. I want to have my high school figure back. It's going to take some work, yes, but I'm hoping now with my slightly shrunken stomach from the surgery, it'll be a little easier. Plus, I'm trying to be more healthy and drink less Coke and more juices and tea. In addition, when school starts up (and my knee is better), I'm going to start working out at the student rec center on campus. Hopefully by the end of the year, I'll be at my target body size.

I've also gotten some products to help. Recently, I've started using this shampoo from Herbal Essences, and it works wonders with my dry hair. I'm also starting to use more lotion with my dry skin, and Mom bought me some light make-up that's also supposed to help with it and be better for my skin. In addition, I'm growing out my hair. I miss it being as long as it was three years ago.

Looks aside, I'm working harder on trying to land a job. I need the work experience, I need the money, and I need the ego boost of actually having a job and not living off my parents in exchange for being a babysitter. Hopefully, I'll land one of the internships or can find a part-time job on campus. Here's to hoping!

So, by this time next year, I'm hoping to be close to moving out of Georgia (I'll explain where later), have some money to my name, work experience under my belt, and have a better outlook on myself.
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So Much Ado About Shura (Academic-wise) [Aug. 16th, 2008|03:42 am]
Takai no Tenshi
[Today, I'm Feeling |boredbored]
[Eulogy of the Day |"Rinse" by Vanessa Carlton]

As I said in my last post, school starts next Monday, and I'm actually very excited about it.

I'm taking my last biology class (take care of that requirement), and three theatre classes. This way, I'll have my minor finished by the end of the semester, and I will only have one more required class in order to obtain my journalism major, which I'll be taking in the Spring (and hopefully not have the class at like seven at night).

These classes seem like they would be very fun, and I have my Fridays clear. In addition, I am also applying for six different internships. Hopefully, one of these places will hire me, and if I can't get paid, at least I'll have work experience, and it'll give me some experience with journalism (especially PR). I'm really hoping for one at the govenor's office--that'll look really impressive.

However, the more I continue on in life, the more I realize how much I love law (the subject). So much in fact that I really want to go to law school. Since I'm this close to graduating with a journalism major (and since HOPE won't cover law school due to time), I'm going to go ahead and finish up with that. After that though, I'm going to move and work full-time for a year before applying for law school. Law school will open up many more doors for me, and hopefully with journalism and law degrees, I'll be able to land a decent job.

And this concludes part two... Wow, I need to update my fics this quickly, lol.
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So Much Ado About Shura (Health-wise) [Aug. 16th, 2008|03:30 am]
Takai no Tenshi
[Today, I'm Feeling |blahblah]
[Eulogy of the Day |"How Soon is Now?" by Love Spit Fire]

So...it's probably about time I posted about everything, huh?

Okay, well to start with, I am now 21-years old. Yes, I am finally legally able to drink. "Congrats" to me, I suppose.

Anyway, the week of my birthday (thankfully after I saw The Dark Knight (which if you have seen it yet, shame on you--go do so!)), I got sick. So sick in fact that the doctors first thought I had hepatitis. It turns out that I had a gall stone get stuck in my pancreas, and it caused me to have pancreatitis, or however you spell it.

In other words, I had to go to the hospital. Unfortunately, it was really last-minute and really sudden and with non-tech-savvy parents, I wasn't able to tell anyone really. I had my gall bladder removed, and the surgery went fine. I came home two weeks ago, and I'm just about fully recovered. All the bandages have come off, and I have a slight infection with one of the incisions (but the doctor says that's normal and she gave me an antibiotic that I'm on), but I'm fine.

Sadly, being the "graceful" person that I am, I have injured myself yet again. Last night, Clyde decided to be nice and take me to Turner Field to see the Cubs play the Braves. We got great seats, I was finally going to see my Cubbies play...and I hurt my knee. I went up to get Clyde a beer and me some food (since Arby's screwed up my order), and I got lightheaded (a wonderful side effect to me having low blood pressure since surgery), misstepped, and my knee popped really badly. So badly in fact that I could hardly stand, let alone walk, so we had to go home. Don't worry, I'm better now--I can actually walk again. Hopefully, it'll be all taken care of by Monday so I won't have to miss my first day of class.

So yeah, this concludes part one of my update. Stay tuned for more (if you want to hear it lol).
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I Can't Make This Stuff Up... [Jul. 5th, 2008|07:23 pm]
Takai no Tenshi
[I'm Traveling Through |Someplace sober]
[Today, I'm Feeling |amusedamused]
[Eulogy of the Day |"Break My Fall"]

...I'm probably going to burn in Hell for this, but... I just found this to be WAYYY too funny not to share...

Man rips head from Hitler wax figure

BERLIN (Reuters) - A man tore the head from a controversial waxwork figure of Adolf Hitler on the opening day of Berlin's Madame Tussauds museum Saturday, police said.

Just minutes after the museum opened, the 41-year-old German man pushed aside two security men guarding the figure before ripping off the head in protest at the exhibit, a police spokesman said. The police were alerted and arrested the man.

The waxwork figure of a glum-looking Adolf Hitler in a mock bunker during the last days of his life was criticized as being in bad taste. A media preview of the new branch of Madame Tussauds Thursday was overshadowed by a row over the exhibit.

Critics said it was inappropriate to display the Nazi dictator, who started World War Two and ordered the extermination of Europe's Jews, in a museum alongside celebrities, pop stars, world statesmen and sporting heroes.

Dressed in a grey suit, the figure of Hitler gazed downwards with a despondent stare, his arm outstretched on a large wooden table with a map of Europe on the wall of his gloomy bunker.

About 25 workers spent about four months on the waxwork, using more than 2,000 pictures and pieces of archive material and also guided by a model of the "Fuehrer" in the London branch of Madame Tussauds where he is standing upright.

It is illegal in Germany to show Nazi symbols and art glorifying Hitler and the exhibit was cordoned off to stop visitors posing with him.

Unobtrusive signs asked visitors to refrain from taking photos or posing with Hitler "out of respect for the millions of people who died during World War Two." Camera surveillance and museum officials were meant to stop inappropriate behavior.

Institutions such as the foundation for Germany's central Holocaust memorial site condemned the idea of the exhibit as tasteless, saying it had been included to generate business.

The wax figure is the latest in a gradual breaking down of taboos about Hitler in Germany more than 60 years after the end of the war and the Holocaust in which some six million Jews were killed.

The 2004 film "Downfall" provoked controversy as it portrayed the leader in a human light during the last days of his life and last year a satire about Hitler by Swiss-born Jewish director Dani Levy was released in Germany.
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What Hurts the Most [Jul. 2nd, 2008|10:14 pm]
Takai no Tenshi
[I'm Traveling Through |Home]
[Today, I'm Feeling |sadsad]
[Eulogy of the Day |"What Hurts the Most"]

...There's nothing like having your sister cry and not knowing what it is to make you feel completely helpless and powerless...

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